Texting with Irish Dumbass
by CaptainSwan013
Summary: just a few shorts of Emma and Killian texting.(and some other people) really funny MUST READ ;) my 4th story go easy on me havent done this in a while.
1. Chapter 1

It was just another normal day in storybook another villain that needed to be defeated by knowing there past or weakness or some dumb shit like that which meant tracking down the Once Upon A time book which was apparently no where to be found. she was at her mom's house with Regina and her mother and since Killian had to track down something at Gold's pawnshop with David she had to drag Hope along with her (who was 12 yrs old)

"Are you sure it was here" Regina said while shuffling through the books on the shelf in the living room

Snow sighed "yes, it was here Tuesday I swear" a slight ding was heard from the other room followed by Hope "Mom someone's texting you!"

"Leave it alone Hope ill be there in a minute." Emma said continuing her conversation "So what now?"

Mary Margret sighed "Well I suppose we could ask Henry, but I doubt that he'll even know."

Regina shook her head "Even if he did he's out of town with Violet to get a new phone and I won't event know that new number until he comes back."

from the other room Hope's laughing was clearly heard "Mom who's Irish Dumbass on your contacts"

"Your father and you'll be Adopted Brat if you don't put my phone down." Hope just shook her head and snickerd "Irish Dumbass"

" Maybe I could talk to Belle and see if there's a spell that will help me possibly track it down." Regina said ,but was still uncertain. This book disappeared constantly and would be seen for days maybe weeks. "Mom Irish Dumbass just texted you a picture!" Emma just shook her head until Hope creamed in horror "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT!" Emma turned around and took the phone from her.

"I don't know Hope looks like you just zoomed in on a picture of the storybook looks like they found it." thank god she thought it wasn't one of THOSE pictures he usualy sends her.


	2. Stubborn Blond

Irish Dumbass: Hello Love

Stubborn Blond: Have you change my contact name yet?

Irish Dumbass: Whatever do you mean

Stubborn Blond: you said my contact name was Adorable Blond I said to change it. did you?

Irish Dumbass: Aye

Stubborn Blond: ok... what 2

Irish Dumbass: wouldn't you like to know

Stubborn Blond: ok if that's how it's gunna be

Irish Dumbass: Swan?

Irish Dumbass: *sigh

Irish Dumbass: SWAAAAAAAAAAN

Stubborn Blond: The AT&T Subscriber U Are Trying To Reach Is No Longer In Service

Irish Dumbass: you spelt *you wrong

Stubborn Blond: The AT&T Subscriber *You Are Trying To Reach Is No Longer In Service

Irish Dumbass: *sigh

Irish Dumbass: swan?

Irish Dumbass: Swan!

Irish Dumbass: SWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAn!

Irish Dumbass: Henry's Hurt

Stubborn Blond: The AT&T Subscriber You Are Trying To Reach Is Not Falling For Your Bullshit

Irish Dumbass: you just love proving all my points don't you?

Stubborn Blond: ?

Irish Dumbass: Stubborn Blond...your contact name?...:)

Stubborn Blond:...Damn

 _should I do more of these? idk you decide I enjoy making them :)_


	3. Hope and Emma

_This chapter are texts between Emma and Hope when Hope was around 15-16... just because_

Hope: hey mom :)

Mom: yea?

Hope: did I ever tell you how pretty u r

Mom: What do you want?

Hope: mom! I would never!

Hope: ok...I need 2 borrow some $$$

Mom: How much?

Hope: 70$

Mom: What! Why?

Hope: well i took out dad's car cuase he said I could

Mom: *cause

Hope: yea...so I was driving and was goin above the speed limit because the road was pretty much empty

Mom: ok.. how much above the speed limit?

Hope: ok lets c speed limit was 40 I was going 65 so like 25 miles above

Mom: -_-

Hope: but u don't understand I had 2. dad's got a stick car those things sound so fast and r so fun 2 drive

Mom: ok continue

Hope: so then I hit a bump and had to spot really quickly and hit a bunny

Mom: great going Hope Easter is now canceled!

Hope: MOM!

Mom: what

Hope: its not like I meant 2 hit it

Mom: Here comes Peter Cotton Tail Hoping down the Bunny Trail OH NO here comes Hope *SPLAT!*

Hope: yea and grandpa pulled me over and won't let me drive home so can u come pick me up

Mom: hahahaha

Mom: NO

 _two days later_

Hope: Hey Mom Ash was telling us about her pregnancy cravings for weird stuff wat did u crave 4 when u were pregnant wit me

Mom: An abortion

 _1 day later_

Mom: Hope where are you?

Hope: imma Ata Th!ng7y W!TH mY frIendS

Mom: ?

Mom: are you drunk?

Hope: wood u arr3st M3 !f I Waz

Mom: I don't have time for that its 3:45 am...so no

Hope: u awr s0 poLite,

Hope: im So GlAD I DEc!ded 2 kept u

Mom: I regret it sometimes

Hope: HAHAHAHA !I get tthat

Mom: come home now

Hope: Hello

Hope: my name !s H0pe

Mom: ?

Hope: u k!lled $%MY nite

Hope: *PREPARE TO DIE!*

Mom: I regret letting you watch the Princess Bride

Mom: and I will laugh at you tomorrow when your hungover

Mom: COME HOME NOW!

Hope: Foine

 _3 days later_

Hope: Mom I got detention today

Mom: Why?

Hope: well my teacher was going on about how are class was impossible to teach and that one of us should try teaching for a day.

Mom: so?

Hope: so I stood up. walked to the front of the class and said *Class Dismissed.*

Mom: -_-

Mom: why are you always telling me these things and not your father

Hope: because dad approved :)

 _planning on doing more funny texts who should I do next? I take suggest and if you like plzzz write a review they keep me going :)_


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